


hell

by Anonymous



Series: max's anon mcyt fics [1]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Adopted Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe, Angst and Humor, BUT ALSO HAPPY, Bullying, CATBOY KARL CATBOY KARL, CHAT FIC BABEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY, Cat Hybrid Karl Jacobs, Child Neglect, Dog Hybrid Sapnap, Duck Hybrid Alexis | Quackity, Eret and Ranboo are Siblings, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Hybrids, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, It is, Jealous TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), M/M, Niki and Eret are Siblings, Niki | Nihachu and Ranboo are Siblings, Older Sibling Niki | Nihachu, Parent Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF), Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Sam | Awesamdude, Protective TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Protective Wilbur Soot, Ranboo and Tubbo's platonic marriage, Sad Toby Smith | Tubbo, Sad Wilbur Soot, Soft Karl Jacobs, Soft Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), They/Them Pronouns for Eret (Video Blogging RPF), This sounds dark, Toby Smith | Tubbo Angst, and it kinda is, both of those, but im not funny, meow
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:08:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29896083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: welcome to hell
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity/Karl Jacobs/Sapnap, Clay | Dream/Floris | Fundy, Ranboo & Tubbo, Toby Smith | Tubbo & Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Series: max's anon mcyt fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2203845
Comments: 9
Kudos: 90
Collections: Anonymous





	1. Chapter 1

TOMMYINNIT has added HONK, Wimblur, God, ranboo, bicon, Quack man, and 16 others to a chat.

TOMMYINNIT has named the chat SMALL BITCHES AND ONE BIG MAN

TOMMYINNIT: ELLO BITCHES

twobo: that is so incredably rude

Wimblur: that hurts my feelings

Muffins!: Laungauge!

TOMMYINNIT: fuck

Muffins!: >:0

Quack man: pussy

Muffins: QUACKITY

Swipnip: is it bullying bad time

Muffins!: Sapnap :(

ranboo: this is already been a mistake

Wimblur: tommy when did you even have time to make this aren't you in class

TOMMYINNIT: no its not ranboob this is great

ranboo: thats

ranboo: thats not my name

Muffins: All of you go back to class

Swipnip: pfffffffffffffft education who needs it amirite????

twobo: yes

Muffins!: No!!! >:(

Quack man: oh god oh no not the angry face

Quack man: sapnap you've envoked the rage of bad boy halo

Quack man: run before he gets the belt

Swipnip: shittttttttttttt

Wimblur: tommy

Muffins!: Quackity

Swipnip: running rn

Quack man: shit i'll run with u

Swipnip: heart emoji

Wimblur: tommathy

Quack man: did you just fucking type out heart emoji instead of putting the emoji?

Swipnip: shrugging emoji

Quack man: fuck man never mind i hate you i'll kiss karl instead

ranboo: just watched tommy get detention for being on his phone

Wimblur: sigh

Swipnip: NO

Swipnip: QUACKITY

twobo: LOL

Muffins!: Ranboo! get off your phone and pay attention to class before you get dentention too!

ranboo: ok mr halo

Swipnip: heart been broke so many times

-

SMALL BITCHES AND NE BIG MAN

God: is this hell

Swipnip: dream kiss me rn

God: ew

HONK: WOAH SAPNAP WHAT THE HONK

Swipnip: KARL

HONK: SAPNAP!!!

Quack man: look at him

Quack man: falling to such low levels

God: i hate it here

Swipnip: KARL IM SORRY

HONK: I DONT THINK I CAN FORGIVE YOU

Swipnip: KARL PLEASE

Quack man: beg

God: someone save me

Swipnip: I WILL NOT

Quack man: k me n and karl will kiss without u

Swipnip: NOOOOO

HONK: YOU TRIED TO KISS DREAM

Quack man: YEAH LIKE WTF

Swipnip: ITS QUACKITY'S FAULT

HONK: WOAH THATS KINDA RUDE

Quack man: MY FEELINGS ARE SO SO HURT

Quack man: LITERALLY CRYING RN

Funds: wtf is happening

God: finally, someone sane

HONK: DW QUACKITY I'LL KISS YOUR TEARS AWAY WHERE ARE YOU

Swipnip: GUYS

Quack man: FUCK BRO DMS

Swipnip: GUYS PLEASE

Funds: why am i here

HONK: OK QUACKITY LOVE OF MY LIFE

God: no clue

God: we're just her to suffer ig

Swipnip: G U Y S

Funds: i am very much suffering

God: me too

Swipnip: GUYS?

-

SMALL BITCHES AND ONE BIG MAN

ranboo: free from hell at last

twobo: f for tommy whos in detenton

ranboo: f

HONK: f

Give me your lunch money: f

Wimblur: f for tech who has to pick up tommy later because i cant drive

bicon: f

blade: fuck you

Quack man: wilbur you cannot drive??????

Wimblur: father does not trust me with a vehicle

Funds: sad

Wimblur: MY SON!

Quack man: lol sucks to suck

Wimblur: SAYS YOU WHO RIDES A FUCKING BIKE

Funds: father

Quack man: CARS ARE FUCKING EXPENSIVE MR "MY FATHER IS FINACIALY STABLE"

God: woah

ranboo: um,,,

ranboo:does anyone have a spare umbrella?,,

twobo: come to front of school

ranboo: k

Funds: tense silence,

God: yea

HONK: yikes

lost: wha

God: are you finally up

lost: dont bully me im colorblind

-

SMALL BITCHES AND ONE BIG MAN

Wimblur: quackity i am sorry if i hurt you, i was trying to make a joke i didnt realize it would upset you

Quack man: ik dude i just got pissed

Wimblur: we can move forward?

Quack man: yeah

-

SMALL BITCHES AND ONE BIG MAN

TOMMYINNIT: TECHNOBLADE

blade: im here you fool

TOMMYINNIT: OH

TOMMYINNIT: tubzo

TOMMYINNIT: when have you ever just had 2 umbrellas

ranboo: he said his dad was gonna pick him up so i could give it back tmrrw

TOMMYINNIT: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

twobo: dont hmmmm

TOMMYINNIT: i'll hmmmm if i want

twobo: >:(

ranboo: scary tubbo

TOMMYINNIT: who are you bbh

twobo: bbh in desguise

ranboo: gasp

Muffins!: ?

ranboo: HES BEEN SUMMONED

twobo: OH GOD

TOMMYINNIT: FUCK

Muffins!: LANGUAGE TOMMY!

TOMMYINNIT: I DO WHAT I WANT BITCH

Muffins!: Tommy!!

blade: stop harrasing people

TOMMYINNIT: stop texting and driving

TOMMYINNIT: wilbur would not text and drive

Wimblur: have you met me

twobo: wilbur would purposely crash the car

TOMMYINNIT: shit youre right

TOMMYINNIT: also t-bo since when does your dad pick you up

twobo: since today

twobo: since i asked

TOMMYINNIT: HMMMMMMM

twobo: stop hmmming me

twobo: im goimg to do hw

TOMMYINNIT: alr big man

-

Phil to little bee

Phil: You got home safe with the rain?

little bee: yeah

Phil: Tommy was worried

little bee: he shouldn't be

Phil: if you say so

Phil: Would you like to stay over on Saturday?

little bee: uh sure!

Phil: Okay, come around noon and I'll make lunch

little bee: okay :)

/p

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome to hell


	2. Chapter 2

SMALL BITCHES AND ONE BIG MAN

Wimblur: i have just found out that one tubbo underscore is co,ing to my house and neither my father nor my gremlin brother told me i am raging

ranboo: this is a problem why?

Wimblur: i always buy tubbo candy and now i dont have time

twobo: D:

TOMMYINNIT: good, tubbo never shares

twobo: DD:

TOMMYINNIT: wilbur you should get me candy, i am your brother

Wimblur: no

Wimblur: you are gremlin, tubbo is my brother now

TOMMYINNIT: i am going to run away rn

twobo: tommy i am omw to ur hluse rn dont leave

TOMMYINNIT: fucking fine i guess

-

Tommy reluctantly slides the brigtly colored disc into the wii, scowling  
as Tubbo bounces on his heels, green remote that Phil had bought him held tight in his hands.

Tommy's scowl only deepens as Just Dance 4 loads. He steps back, raising his red remote to the screen and pressing play. Tubbo looks just about ready to explode.

The sound of the game is loud. Tubbo leans im close to him. "Do the One Direction one." He says, eyes alight.

"No," Tommy grumbles, because he still has his pride. "No way."

Tubbo frowns, pulling wide, puppy dog eyes. "Please?" He leans in even closer.

Tommy lightly shoves him away. "I'm not doing that."

Tubbo pouts, but before he can say anything, Wilbur quite literally skids into the room, socks slidding on wood. His hair is slightly messy, and theres a maniacle grin on his face. "I heard Just Dance."

Tubbo whoops loudly. "Yes! Join us Wilbur!"

Wilbur cackles, launching himself over the couch to snag his yellow remote, quickly turning it on. "We're doing the One Direction one, right?"

"Yes!" Tubbo exclaims, at the same time Tommy huffs out a "No."

Tubbo and Wilbur both share a look, and then Tommy's best friend is tackling him into the couch. Tommy squawks, red wings flapping. Wilbur is quick to slide his red wii remote from distracted fingers.

Tubbo chuckles as Tommy tries to shove him off, watching helplessly as Wilbur rearanges the order of the remotes, setting his to first and Tommy's to third.

Tommy finally manages to push Tubbo to the floor, huffing as Wilbur tosses back the remote. Tubbo whoops again, scrambling up as Wilbur selects that god forsaken dance.

Tommy kind of wants to kick Wilbur in the knee.

They dance together rather aggesively, doing the jumping and energetic movement while shouting the lyrics as Tommy does half hearted arm movements.

Tubbo is his friend, not Wilbur's.

Techno ambles down the stairs about an hour later, in the middle of (I've had) The Time Of My Life, Wilbur and Tubbo doing the dance duet together. Techno shoots Tommy a sympathetic look.

"Tech, Techno, the Blade, my favorite brother ever, please save me,"

Techno's eyebrow raises, his gaze slides lazily to Wilbur and Tubbo, practically screaming the song at the top of their lungs. Techno grunts, scratching behind his ear.

"You two are givin me a headache." He says.

They don't seem to hear him as Wilbur dramatically dips Tubbo, much, much more dramatic than the dance actually is.

Techno sighs, makes a vauge gesture, and heads outside, Tommy's quick to follow suit.

Phil is tending to the plants they've planted outside. He looks up upon hearing the front door open and shut, eyebrow raising.

"Why aren't you with Tubbo?" The question is directed at Tommy, who shifts and pulls a face, clicking his tognue.

Phil chuckles a little, standing up and brushing his hands together. "I left the second I heard Just Dance starting up, I know how Wilbur gets."

"You got the right idea," Techno grunts as Tommy scowls, eyes narrowing. "'M surprised you can't hear em through th' walls."

Phil smiles, clapping Tommy on the shoulder. "Well, it's almost time for dinner, yeah? We can go get those two and eat out, no more Just Dance for the night."

Tommy brightens a little at that. He can take Tubbo back from Wilbur that way.

Phil leads them inside just in time to watch Wilbur dip Tubbo again, because they were doing the same fucking song again, and drop him.

Tubbo squawks in pain as his back hits the hard, wood floor. His head makes a loud _smack_ sound as it hits the ground.

Wilbur yelps, dropping to his knees and wraps his arms around Tubbo, practically pulling the teen into his lap. "Tubbo!" He cries, loudly. "Tubbo I'm sorry!"

Tubbo looks.. not quite all there, his eyes are slightly shiny.

Tommy scowls, marching up and kicking Wilbur in the leg. "Wilbur," He sits beside them. "Let go, dumbass."

He wrangles Tubbo from Wilbur's arms, and his best friend's gaze darts about and then settles on Tommy, flashing him a sheepish smile complemented by watery eyes.

"Are you okay?" Tommy asks, hands hovering uselessly. Tubbo doesn't like to be touched after he gets hurt. Tommy doesn't know why, he's never asked.

Tubbo glances at Wilbur, chews his bottom lip. "Yeah," He says after a moment, face slightly flushed. "I'm alright."

Wilbur shifts. "I'm sorry," He says genuinely. "I wasn't expecting to drop you.."

Tubbo smiles again, gaze snapping to the corner nervously. "It's okay, Wil, I don't blame you."

I do, Tommy thinks bitterly.

Phil comes around, smiling gently at the boys as Tommy helps Tubbo off the floor. "You sure you're alright, mate? It seems like you hit your head pretty hard."

Tubbo doesn't look at Phil either, instead reaching up to prod at the back of his head. "I think I'm alright." His fingers come back spotted in blood. "Oh," He says faintly.

Tommy sighs, and starts to walk into the kitchen, gesturing for the smaller boy to follow. "Come on, Tubzo, let's get you fixed up."

-

SMALL BITCHES AND ONE BIG MAN

Wimblur: today i dropped tubbo on the wood floor

Quack man: YOU DID WHAT??

Wimblur: i am in anguish. pain. i almost cried

twobo: it was not that bad

Wimblur: TUBBO YOU BLED

HONK: oh honk

Muffins!: Are you okay Tubbo??

twobo: >:|

twobo: im fine

Wimblur: i may be in emotional distress but at least i have pancakes

God: pancakes?? its??? dinner time?????

Wimblur: pancakes.

funds: pancakes are good anytime

God: so true

TOMMYINNIT: that is the complete opposite of what you just said, big man

Swipnip: woah dream???? changing his opinion for someone???? whipped???

God: SAPNAP

funds: wh

God: sapnap is hate criming me in dms im going to die now

Swipnip: GOOD

-

SMALL BITCHES AND ONE BIG MAN

Swipnip: @God DREAM KISS ME RN

God: sapnap stfu im trying to EAT

Swipnip: KISS ME

God: :gags:

Swipnip: WTFFFFFFFFFFF

Swipnip: @lost GEORGE KISS ME

Swipnip: @lost GEORGE

ranboo: i dont want to be here

Swipnip: @lost GEORGE!!!!

Swipnip: @lost

Swipnip: @lost

Swipnip: @lost

Swipnip: @lost @lost @lost @lost

give me your lunch money: omg george not found??

God: he's lost

Swipnip: @lost GEORGE I WANT YOU TO BE FOUND

give me your lunch money: he can't be found

Swipnip: @lost GEORGEEEEEEEEE

lost: SAPNAP OMG SHUT UP!!!!!!

Swipnip: KISS ME RN

God: omg he's been found

lost: NO

give me your lunch money: the impossible has been done???

Swipnip: JUST ONE KISS

God: we have to put him in a museum

God: quick, preserve him

lost: NO ILL VOMIT

Swipnip: WHA

Swipnip: GEORE THAT IS SO MEAN

Swipnip: GEORGE

Swipnip: GEORGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

give me your lunch money: he's been driven away by a wild sapnap

God: the sapnaps mating call has scared away the george, he will not be found for another thousand years

Swipnip: DREAM SHUT UP

God: :]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i do not have the ability to not write even the smallest amount of angst,,, also punz is 'give me your lunch money' btw
> 
> can you guys tell that i just love sapnap very very much?
> 
> uhhhhhhhhh thanks for the love on this fic so far !!! i appreciate it very very much, um,, you may also call me max or squid if you'd like, so you don't just gotta call me anon. um, yeah, thanks for reading, hope u enjoyed, cya around :]


	3. Chapter 3

SMALL BITCHES AND ONE BIG MAN

TOMMYINNIT: tubbo is still asleep and im bored

God: its??? 6 am on a sunday??

TOMMYINNIT: and? you're awake

God: i didnt sleep

TOMMYINNIT; oh

funds: yooo insomnia pog??

God: hell yea

God: you too?

funds: unfortunately

God: sorry about that man

funds: you too

funds: it sucks

God: yeah it does

God: at least we have someone to talk to during the night now??

funds: true, true

TOMMYINNIT: are you guys like

TOMMYINNIT: in... love

funds: what?

God: NO?

TOMMYINNIT: hmmm..

God: why would you

God: wh

funds: we were just talking about how we cant sleep????

TOMMYINNIT: sounded like flirting

God: WH

Swipnip: TRUEEEEEEEE

God: SAPNAP

Funds: i

God: WHY ARE YOU EVEN UP

Swipnip: i could sense that it was bully dream time

God: i hate you so so much

funds: mildly confused

TOMMYINNIT: are you guys going to kiss

God: NO??????

funds: we were literally just talking about insomnia why does that???? have to mean that we like each other?????

Swipnip: idk seemed pretty suspicious to me..

God: SAPNAP IM GOING TO STRANGLE YOU

Swipnip: ;)

God: your life ends today

HONK: NOOOOO NOT SAPNAP! HE'S TOO HOT?

Swipnip: KARL??????

God: KARL?? YOURE UP? WHY?

funds: oh god

Swipnip: KARL ARE YOU TAKING ME BACK????

HONK: hmm... can't decide without quackity around

Swipnip: :[

Swipnip: karl please im desperate

Swipnip: i tried to kiss george

HONK: GEORGENOTFOUND?

God: i witnessed it, can confirm

TOMMYINNIT: this is boring now im going to go wake up tubbo

blade: you will not

HONK: smh sapnap

TOMMYINNIT: WHA

Swipnip: IM SORRY KARL

blade: i am not dealing with an exhausted tubbo

blade: wake him and no one will find your body

funds: technoblade threatening a child pogggggg

God: POGGGGGG

TOMMYINNIT: >:(

HONK: smh

Swipnip: :[

God: ah, the suffering of others

Swipnip: i could turn this shit on you so fast dream shut your mouth

God: zips mouth shut

God: but also fuck you

Swipnip: you wish

Swipnip: ANYWAYS KARL PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE?? LOOK IM BEGGING LIKE QUACKITY WANTED

HONK: hmm..

God: jesus christ i hate you

Swipnip: karl im going to cry rn

HONK: hmmmmmmm...

Swipnip: KARLCJVEOWIWBDBISVHUVHFOBJI

Quack man: SHUT TE FUCK UP OH MY GOD YPURE BLOWING UP MT PHONE

HONK: Q!!

Swipnip: QUACKITY

Swipnip: QUACKITY PLEASEEEE

Quack man: shut tf up im going back to sleep

Swipnip: :[[[[[[[

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> most of this has just been sapnap complaining so far,,,, oh well


End file.
